Watching: Lacey Games :3
Listening to: Alligator Bites Never Heal
Eating: de la rosa mazapan
Playing: Cyberpunk2077
Hello! Welcome! This site is still heavily WIP.
Please note that there is currently no nsfw on my site, and ergo it is not marked as nsfw, but it is probably at least 16+ due to darker themes at times.
Also, general trigger warnings will be given as needed, but know that I will likely be talking
about
depressing things! Please use the internet responsibly. PS: I have literally no intents of making a site map, but if you can't find something, look thru code or msg me. not that you would know it's there:3
Why the K-hole? Well, in my childhood and in my early adult years, I have tried over a dozen medications for my mental health, mostly SSRIs, SNRIs, and a few meds I should not have been on lol. About a year ago, I was discussing the promising research into positive effects of ketamine on depression, when my partner flatly asked why I don't see if my doctor thought it right for me? After the initial complicated feelings I had, I sought out a referal. I started treatments after my college graduation this late spring, and in combination with specialized PTSD therapy (CPT>>>>CBT, don't @ me), my life has drastically changed. I still have a lot of health issues, which I will likely discuss on my diary at times too.
As mentioned, I graduated this spring, with a degree in biological/biomedical sciences and a certificate in Japanese.
i have agoraphobia. next question
For a serious answer, I simply cannot stand the demands of modern social media for what it gives me. While tumblr and my small circles on discord are largely positive experiences for me, I miss the magic of the old web. I know that's nothing new, but the ever creeping nature of capitalism upon us all really is a bitch. That being said, this site is not a part of the "old web revivial" trend or whatever. Nostalgia is simply intertwined with a bittersweet form of psychological horror for me.
Additionally, I want a place to share all my thoughts, OCs, WIPs, and collections of things I like, all in one place, but I hate how most of social media handles its posting systems. Not to mention that some of my social media accounts, like IG, are followed by people I know irl and respect. Luckily, my tumblr is shadow banned, because if my irl circles found that, i'd [joke redacted bc therapist said it's bad for my mental health]. Every social media platform or website leaves something greatly to be desired in my internet browsing experience, so I decided I would remedy that with one of my own! I do hope to make new friends via this site, but I'll be happy just to have a nicely organized piece of myself immortalized in amber (insert hbomber guy pathologic). Also, for the first time in my life, I almost want to be alive. So, I want to document my sort of awkward attempt of a metamorphosis as I stumble my way towards something resembling a life
1/25/25:Completely redid my diary page, breaking away from the theme of the rest of the site. I plan on adding more, but I really loved itinerae's new(ish) vaporeon theme. Plus, little fun fact about me, a lot of my dreams (at least when i used to dream frequently) were fish tank related (also, often in mario 64 environments!). So the aquatic theme is fitting :D. Also, some slight additions around the main page and credits. Still working on character pages :(
1/10/25: General work on main pages, but sadly little this week for OC pages :(
12/28/24:Added webrings, fanlistings, and other misc changes/updates. Will be working on character pages soon! Trying to figure out if the scrollbar on here works, too^^. Also, I plan on redoing some of the side pages hopefully to be more simple, but I'm not really sure. Here is an image to see if the scroll bar works yet^^
12/13/24:Updated interests page, added cosplay page and a cosplay placeholder pic for Anya, and some other minor things.
12/5/24:Added a placeholder site button, and a few more site buttons for others. Working on art for OC pages, and hopefully soon sidebar improvements
11/26/24:Tons of things happening here!
14-5-22-5-18 7-15-14-14-1 7-9-22-5 25-15-21 21-16
14-5-22-5-18 7-15-14-14-1 12-5-20 25-15-21 4-15-23-14
14-5-22-5-18 7-15-14-14-1 18-21-14 1-18-15-21-14-4 1-14-4 4-5-19-5-18-20 25-15-21
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